The "Marriage Alliance" of an 11 year old

I had definitely heard a lot of good things about that school. But I had also heard some not so good things about it. My parents certainly wanted me to attend that school as it would give me not just education, but also shape my character for the better. I do not know if they thought I was useless until then.

So in June 1987, my dad filled out the entrance forms for SAINIK SCHOOL KAZHAKOOTAM. I used to adore his handwriting. I still do. He would write it in his own artistic way and as he filled out everything, I, then a 10 year old, looked at him and the forms wondering "Should I be thrilled or not about all this?" The entrance would happen in December, the medicals in April and the school would have its intake for 6th standard students in June 1988. So that was what my dad was planning for.

All the documents with 12-15 passport sized photos, were packed in a nice long brown envelope. I went along with him to the post office, to oversee the whole process of sending this envelope by registered post all the way from our then home in Ooty to the school that was in Trivandrum.

Every step was regarded as a milestone. Acceptance for the entrance exam meant that we had sent all the documents in the right shape, size, color and yes, the contents were the right ones too.

In October-November 1987, we got the message that we had passed the first milestone. The documents had been accepted and a small brown envelope that bore the "Central Govt" seal arrived at our address in Ooty. I had never seen postmen in Ooty. Dad would pick up the letters directly from the post office. I was back from school one day when my mom announced with a beaming smile that the entrance exam hall ticket had arrived. I wasn't still sure whether I was supposed to be thrilled or not. It was more a victory for my Dad for having filled out those bundles of documents and sent it in the right format. If I was to do it today, I am sure I would have sent out the package and returned home only to find some documents still lying on my table. 

So if I was to compare this whole "project" to a typical Indian marriage, the photographs had been exchanged and the horoscopes had matched. The two families had agreed to have their first face to face meeting.  (That means, the alliance could go to the next level which is called the entrance exam)

Let us call this step the "Pennukaanal" in Malayalam or "Ladki dekhna" in Hindi. I looked around for an apt English word for that, but guess Uncle Google, for once did not give me a suitable answer.

In plain English I would describe this step of the Indian Alliance when the prospective groom decides to meet the prospective bride for the first time. It is basically a simple general awareness exam for each other.

In Jan 1988, I wrote the exam for my entry into Sainik School. There was one examination center in each district of Kerala and therefore my entrance center was chosen as Cannanore Govt High school. The entrance consisted of a morning session and an afternoon session. Maths was a definite single subject for the entrance and that was the first one in the morning and in the afternoon it was a mix-tape which consisted of a little bit of General Science, English and Analytical skills (that's what I remember). I remember vividly that my mom had come to drop me off for the morning exam. And then she was supposed to go and my uncle would come before the second exam with lunch. My Dad came to pick me up after the exam. I wasn't sure if I had done well or not to get the alliance to the next level but I told everyone that I had done well.

One thing that I knew very well, because I had overheard my mom and dad discuss it several times (while they were busy hatching this plan 😊), that there were more than 2500 students writing this exam and only 80-100 seats would be available.

So everyone who did not qualify in the 100 intakes could claim to be the 101st in the overall ranking out of the 2500, which made themselves feel a lot better.... at least relatively better than the feeling of not making it.

Towards end of Feb the next brown envelope arrived. At least this time it carried the news of my efforts and not any one else's. Yes, the first meeting between the prospective groom and bride seemed to have worked. The brown envelope announced the date of the interview and medical exam. That would be the very close to "engagement" between the two birds. I don't think there was any love yet, so therefore not an engagement between two love birds...but just birds.
I was supposed to attend the interview and Medical exam at Calicut Medical college at the end of March 1988.

Since my exams were not over my dad took special permission from my school to grant me the permission to skip two of my final exams. My grades were always the best in class until then (and probably for the last time in my life I saw the 1st rank in class) therefore our Principal allowed me to leave school for the interview. I knew that it was the last time I was meeting that group of my friends. Even if I wouldn't make it to Sainik School, my parents had decided to return to Kannur and settle down in the known territory. I bade good bye to most of my friends. Two of my friends invited me over to their house a few days before I boarded that bus that took me from Ooty to Kannur. My mom stayed back with my sister as she had to finish her 10th standard exams.

Two days later my dad and I travelled to Calicut and stayed at my maternal uncle's place. The medical exam and interview were to happen the next day. On the eve of my interview (or engagement day), while I walked around tense as an 11 year old would, the rest of the house was also tense. No, it had nothing to do with my interview or medicals. It was because Kerala was playing the final of the Santosh Trophy against Punjab. It was on that day I came to know that Kerala was a serious footballing state that had its people taking sides of Brazil and Argentina as much as they would take sides Mohanlal and Mammootty the then superstars of the Malayalam movie industry. Interestingly, that fight still continues even after almost 30 years..... not just Argentina vs Brazil...even Mammootty vs Mohanlal. (Today I have more white hair than Mammootty who still passes off as a 30 year old someone)

While I walked here and there in a house filled with people I was related to, I found them more glued to Doordarshan network (the only channel available then) than the little guest that had come over for a night all the way from Kannur. Well all those who were cheering for a Kerala victory (and ignoring my presence) went to bed silently as Kerala was defeated on penalty shoot outs. Sad, but I didn't care so much about it then (and neither do I now) and as I closed my eyes for the day, I was mentally prepared for my engagement the next day. 

The next day my dad took me to the medical college Calicut and there were sign boards (basically papers stuck on walls) and kids of all shapes, sizes and colour being pulled by their parents into one big room. It was explained that we will have to undergo medical tests at different booths that were arranged by the medical college and also attend the interviews simultaneously. There were three medical booths and one booth for interview. The total students were split into 4 booths and all of them had to do a rotation so that they get to attend all booths. I was part of the group that would have the interview as the last booth. Time went by as we moved from one booth to the other giving blood, doing some basic physical tests which also meant "proving" we were all boys seeking entry into a boys school. I don't remember much about the interview except that I met one gentleman who was in an army uniform. The first question he asked me was which language I was comfortable in and gave me English, Hindi or Malayalam as choices. I said any of those and he stressed "Hindi too?", and I said "Yes Sir". He smiled but continued in English. There were few others in the panel too, but I do not remember who they were.

The eventful day came to an end and I walked out of my interview with a smile, probably feeling elated that the "marriage" seemed to be inevitable. I traveled to Kannur the very next day. In three weeks the last of the brown envelopes arrived. The marriage of the 11 year old boy with the 365 acre large school was fixed. It was a marriage contract of 7 years. The joining date was Monday, the 6th of June 1988.

The brown envelope consisted of a list of things that had to be packed to the "Bride's" new home. It had to be packed in a black trunk box. The list was a mix of almost everything you could think off. Starting from 6 needles and sewing threads to tooth brush..to bars of soaps...White full sleeve and half sleeve shirts ... white and blue short pants and white socks ...different types of shoes....the list was endless. My dad would go out with me everyday and get on with the list, one by one, a few things per day.

Finally on the 5th of June 1988, I left home from Kannur to Trivandrum. While my mom and sister were in tears, I smiled like a brave boy as I boarded the Kannur Express. The train that took us from Kannur to Trivandrum also had several other boys with their parents. It was easy to identify fathers walking with a black trunk box.

On 6th we arrived at the school. The very first thing you get when you join Sainik School is your lifetime universal identification number called the roll number. Interestingly, in today's world that Sainik school roll number definitely doubles up as your ATM pin or Telephone identity number for most of the school types. (Sorry for having leaked out this very very sensitive information)

It was only slowly sinking into my mind and heart that I was going to be away from my mom, sister and dad for a long time. By 4pm, all the necessary paper work was completed and I was admitted to the Veluthampi house (the name of my hostel or my new "HOME"). At around 5pm, my dad decided to say that final goodbye to his 11 year old. And as he patted my back and stood up to walk, the brave boy of the previous day was missing and what stood in front of him was a vulnerable 11 year old unable to hold his tears back.... begging him not to leave him alone. I am not sure if my dad was expecting it, but I guess he too was partially in tears.

As he struggled to break from me tugging to his pants, a tall man walked past us and stopped near us. Capt. Vijay Kaushal was the registrar of the school, the third in command by the ranks of armed forces personnel at school. I had seen him in the morning in the big cinema theater kind of auditorium.  He looked at me, smiled and offered me his handkerchief to wipe my tears and said "This is Sainik School. We did not bring you here to cry". He turned around to my dad and politely said "Sir, I think you should leave now. I will take care of him". My dad slowly signaled bye to me and walked away as I saw him leave through my eyes that were all welled up with tears. 

The match making of this "Indian Marriage" alliance that started its formation in June 1987 had now been formalized and there I was, standing alone at the entrance of my new "Home" called Veluthampi house. And then someone came along and held my hand to usher me into that place where I spent the next seven years of life shaping myself into what I am today.

The truth is that, once you have stayed in Sainik School, even when you leave it, the school never leaves you. It becomes a part of you for the rest of your life.