The hartal Masala Dosa

To start this story, I would need to explain what HARTAL is - specifically to a state in India called Kerala. Kerala, is also called God's own country (Yes, He is the only one who holds the passport of Kerala while all of us hold the passport from India)

So Hartal: If you ask a school kid, it is also known as a "Holiday"; if you ask an employee, it is a holiday in disguise (you might have to go to sign your presence only to be absent for the rest of the day); for a political party that has actually announced the Hartal, it is a methodology adopted to raise their voice against injustice; for the other political parties, it is just a gimmick to gather people's attention; for the state treasury, it is a huge loss of state turnover ....... I could go on. (If you still did not get the actual meaning, let me just say that the school kid's version is the best way to explain the event called Hartal - A Holiday)

While the mention of hartals can bring in a smile to the malayalis, there are some people who are in for shockers. 

Since I am on that topic, I would also like to know that just like Bombay changed to Mumbai and Madras changed to Chennai, Hartal was in the past called Bandh (but the overall effect is -- Exactly the same)

So, this lovely incident happened way back in 1999. I call it lovely, because I still recollect it with a smile. 

On May 30th 1999 my cousin Ranjith, who also lived bang opposite our house, got married to a lovely girl Bindu.  The marriage was followed by a lovely reception that perhaps for the first time witnessed live music. I showed courage to sing in that too, but No that is not the topic here.

I loved marriages and receptions back then. It gave us young boys the chance to be active, take different responsibilities and make sure they are delivered based the specifications of the elders. So in a way, you could be set for higher leadership roles in a large corporate if you had good experience of managing such functions. I could certify myself as a project manager who worked under a project director for this specific reception. It was certainly a fun evening that I remember very well.

Such functions were also probably the first time you got to have a closer interaction with the new bride. Bindu, was a lovely shy girl from Ernakulam who managed to find Ranjith as a groom, 300kms away in Kannur. Ok, did I say she was a shy girl? SORRY, she wasn't just shy, she was the most shy girl I had ever met until then. The whole evening there were only three things she did. She smiled for the masses and the photographers, She said "Yes" and She said "NO". Incidentally, most of the "No" was for me.

I had the food & beverages department to handle. OK, don't get too carried away with the term beverages. On record, we only serve free spirited beverages (free from spirits). PS: I am only allowed to write the stuff that is visible to us. Things that are not visible or are done under cover cannot be reported here 😊.

Since I was the F&B manager, I was nice to the new member of the family and asking if she was interested in having a go at the delicious biriyani that was being served to the guests. "No" came the answer. Interestingly, Ranjith had "Yes" for an answer. (That is when I noticed the first difference of opinion). He even indicated to me (through the means of non verbal communication) not to bother again asking her about the Biriyani. Well, I being a nice guy, offered her the Biriyani once again and she said NO again. The first time she said No, was with a smile. This time the smile had vanished, so I understood her style of non verbal communication too. (Though I believe that she had actually run out of all the stock she had for smiles, as she had been smiling to all the guests and the cameras. And if at all she had some smiles left in her kitty, she didn't plan to spend it on me)

The reception ended as expected as a fun evening. I was already very sweet to her that evening and my mom went on to be even more sweet by inviting the new couple for dinner the following day. Ranjith happily accepted and Bindu shook her head with a smile (I told you, she still had some stock of those smiles left)

An invitation for dinner for newly weds was a common thing in my house. Mom had a proper menu planned out for them. We included a fully North Indian menu that had paneer / capsicum curry, chappathis, biriyani etc etc. for this girl who was born and brought up in Ernakulam, which could be considered the modern Kerala during those days. Early in the morning, I got a list of items that needed to be purchased and off I went to get them. I even added a few of my own items in the menu to make it a sweeter evening. After all, Ranjith was a lovely cousin brother. So as the preparations were on for the dinner, Ranjith decided to make a short trip to our house which has a long walk of 45secs to be covered. He came into the kitchen and asked mom how the preparations were going. He didnt have to guess what would be on the menu because he knew in and out of our kitchen and what gets prepared there. He called me aside and said "There is a small issue". I asked "What?"

Well she doesn't eat Biriyani. My mom who was not even in the frame heard it from the kitchen. Even before I could ask What or why, my mom was out with "Ayyyoooooo". (Ayyo is an expression in Kerala which means "Oh MY GOD!!!"  ...... If you have malayali friends, you might have learnt it by now as that is how many times we use it on an everyday basis)

So Ranjith, went on to explain that even though she has been raised in Ernakulam she has been very very malayali in her food habits. a lot more malayali than most of the malayalis in the world.

Wow, we did not see that coming. She wasn't fond of Biriyani or these North Indian curries. "So what can we serve?" asked my mom. "Well she does like dosas". Dosa- everyone knows what a dosa is. 

"But we don't have any dough for that and that takes time" she said.

I asked mom to chill and that between Ranjith and me we will make a plan. Ranjith suggested that we buy it from a restaurant close by and include it as a part of the pan indian cuisine that we were about to serve. Not something we had ever done earlier. But that seemed like a viable option at that time. Masala Dosa it is. That specific restaurant, could be the smallest restaurant by size, served one of the best Masala Dosas I have ever had. It was hardly a 10min walk from our place, so we did not need to worry about time.

They were supposed to come at 7pm so I left home at 6:30. The plan was to be back by 7pm and serve dinner. 

I took my motorcycle and left home as planned. I reached the restaurant at 6:40pm, only to find it closed. I was shocked. I wanted to ask the next shop why would they close in the evening when their business peaks from 6pm onwards. Guess what, the next shop was also closed. I looked around only to find that the whole area was closed. I went to the closest medical shop to inquire what the issue was, as those shops rarely closed. 

"It is a hartal, did you not know?" the guy said.

"How can that be, I was here in the morning". I responded

"Oh, there was some fight between some labour associations and therefore all the shops are closed down"

H_A_R_T_A_L : Yes, it had struck unexpectedly, just like lightening. 

"What do you want to buy", he asked. I was never going to tell him that I had an urgent situation where a Masala Dosa was the only solution. I bluffed.

The next option was to go to the main town, Kannur, 5kms away. It shouldn't be an issue with the bike. So I sped away to Kannur town. The first thing I did when I reached Kannur was to call back home. It was already 7:20pm. Interestingly Ranjith picked up the phone and he asked me "Where are you?". I told him the whole story and now it was his turn to say "Ayyyoooo" (I told you, it is that common)

I told him to drag along with all the stupid topics until I am back.

Ranjith could do that. He had the experience of spending any number of hours on any topic. So I managed to find a good restaurant that we frequented. Got a take away parcel of 3 Masala Dosas (I don't know why I bought 3, but it was just in case she liked one and had the second and then loved that too and wanted the third)

As I started my way back, God was just showing his love to me by sending the rain gods with a heavy downpour. Yes it was the first week of June so the monsoons were anticipated. I did not anticipate while I was riding my bike with three take away Masala Dosas.

I managed to reach home, all drenched, by 8:15. The dosas were safely tucked away and they arrived intact. I guarded them like they were the most priceless masala dosas ever.

8:30 the Pan Indian dinner was served. 

Bindu, saw the dishes and had absolutely no emotions. But as soon as she saw the masala dosa she smiled. Finally something she could lay her hands on. (I guess she was bored to death by Ranjith by then)

Ranjith looked at me and indicated "Good Job young man" through the non verbal communication. (You might wonder if he was the guest or the host of the evening 😊)

I smiled as the newly wedded couple had a sumptuous meal listening to rain gods pouring their heart out.

PS: This is one of the most tightly guarded secrets of my life that I am letting out finally. I can sleep peacefully tonight. Wishing Ranjith & Bindu a lovely marriage anniversary. That pic that you see on top was taken perhaps on the same day this event happened. 18 years ago.